Posts Tagged ‘fight’

Hive Mind

Saturday, January 13th, 2018

The bees have infested my brain again
Rattling around within my skull
Like a ricochet bullet
Unwilling to settle on damaging a single target.
They fill my mind with vibrations
like a tremor behind my eyes
Like a precursor pressure
Waiting to crack open my head
When the real earthquake hits
Releasing the infestation of my mind
Upon the world that was never prepared
For this devastation that I have lived with
Everyday like a close companion
Or a haunting voice whispering in your ear
Words you do not want to hear.

The sound of silence is alien to me,
I would not know how to live without
The pressure built up behind my eyes.
Living like a ticking time bomb
Dangerous and frightening but existing
So close to death it makes you more alive
In the end, In the end, In the end
The monster you live with becomes tolerable
Because it is your monster, your pain personified
So you can give your struggle a name.
Transform your enemy into the tangible
Since a battle can only be won
When your opponent is real,
Otherwise you are fighting an endless war
Between you and yourself
Where everyone loses and the fight is your life.

I am the Queen of the hive in my mind
But my own swarm holds me hostage
Encasing me in sweet tasting honey
And lulling me to sleep with the rhythm
Of their hypnotic song;
Entranced by the foot soldiers of an army
I never chose to lead
I cannot escape the buzzing inside my brain
Because we are now two parts of one entity.
They are as much a part of me now
As a mosquito trapped in amber
Fossilized for all of eternity
A trinket of mortified antiquity;
You cannot set them free without breaking
The beautiful creation we became.

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Venice: An Introduction

Monday, September 12th, 2011

Venice truly is a fairytale place. A whole new world of wonders, where romance is all around you and there is no escaping the beauty of this city which lives and breathes the essence of Italy.

We arrived in Venice after our stop in Austria and had to leave our trusty car behind because no vehicles are allowed in the actual city. From there we took a train into Venice and had an adventure trying to locate our hotel. This city is so alive and constantly moving that dragging your luggage up and down stairs and canal walkways is actually quite difficult to do. Eventually we found where we were supposed to be staying only to find that the office was closed and the owner gone away. Luckily we begged a vendor next door to hunt down the hotel clerk so we could actually get the key to our room. After some serious anxiety over possibly not having a hotel, we were able to check in safe and sound.

The hotel was very nice, basically a small apartment with two bedrooms, a bathroom, a dinning area, and a lovely little courtyard out back surrounded by the tall walls that build up Venice. Our first order or business? Not unpacking, but mosquito hunting. We had to hunt down and kill every mosquito in the room. Like crazy people we were running all over the rooms smacking mosquitos and rejoicing in their demise. It was a satisfying experience.

After we settled for a small while we decided to go out and get a taste of Venice Nightlife and grab some real italian food by the Grand Canal. It feels like no one sleeps here, even late at night there is life everywhere. We sat right on the water and were enjoying a nice meal when all of a sudden hell broke loose. Two men started fighting right next to us. at first I thought someone had fallen into the canal and that was what the ruckus was all about. I was sorely mistaken. Two men, I believe to be opposing restaurant owners started screaming at each other in italian and get way to close to each other. One even chased the other down trying to get a good hit in. It died down as quickly as it started however and one of the men walked away in a storm. Believing it to be over, I went back to my room. Little did I know in the few minutes I was gone, the real fight broke out. Apparently as soon as I left, the guy came running back and attacked the man he was earlier fighting with in front of us. They literally attacked each other and at one point one of the waiters had to beat the guy with a stick to get him off of the other man. By the end everyone was bloody, face torn, shirts ripped, and overall, an interesting first night in Venice.

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Yellowstone: Coyote Headshot

Friday, May 28th, 2010

This really is a case of saving the best for last. In February I went to Yellowstone on a photography mission where I followed coyotes, river otters, bison, elk, bighorn sheep and wolves for a week in the snow. I saved my best shot as a present for one of my very best friends. So here is the grand unveiling of my best shot: the coyote headshot.

I got this close up headshot of a coyote when we were driving along the road and happened upon a coyote trotting down the middle of the road.

We slowed down as he weaved in and out of the road. It almost seemed like he was trying to make sure we didn’t pass him. During this time I had whipped out the four hundred lens and was hanging out the window trying to get a good shot of him. It was painful and pretty ridiculous looking as we stopped and went; me being jerked around the whole time yelling at the driver to stop the car. Just in time, I got my shot.

He was beautiful but I could tell he had been in some sort of fight recently because his ear was bloody and gnarled. He had some mean scars on his muzzle as well. So that’s it, that raps up my Yellowstone trip finally, with my best shot of the trip.

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Black Striped

Sunday, January 31st, 2010

Here is an old poem I wrote, I definitely like free verse much better than rhyme schemes…

Black striped nails
Fox with nine tails
All our efforts fail
Time to let our dreams sail

Black striped claws
Staring calmly into the lion’s maw
Trying not to cry with a locked jaw
Forever remember the horrors you saw

Black striped hair
Leave behind those who care
Stepping off a cliff if you dare
Walking into darkness unless you’re scared

Black striped skin
The game you play but never win
Look at your face you’re guilty as sin
This is my hell go on jump in

I am black striped
I will always have to fight
I am the darkness inside of light
I am blind but do not lack sight

This story will end here tonight
I keep on fighting using all my might
Please hold on and squeeze my hand tight
This is going to be a very long night

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Posted in Poetry |

Rebel Children

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Look into my eyes
Please tell me what you see
Do you know who I am
Or have you seen someone
Just like me
Standing in the background
With dark solemn eyes
We are the Rebel Children
Broken yet strong
We can be found everywhere
Or nowhere at all
We are the vacant eyes
Of a forsaken god
Always watching
But who sees nothing
And does nothing
Hollow and dark
We are the stain glass windows
Peering deep into your soul
We do not pass judgment
We are the just the eyes
Of a century
How foolish for anyone
To have ever believe
We as humans
Were the images of angels
We are god’s Rebel Children
Never what we are expected
To be in the end
We fight through silence
With our angry eyes
Cast not at heaven
But into the passersbys
God didn’t make us this way
We did
We are the rampant soul
Of a stubborn child
We want only what we do not have
And hate all else
The consumers and buyers
Burning a hole in your soul
Grinding in a cigarette butt
No chance for a fire ever again
Snuff out that spark of life
Leaving you in an eternity of darkness
That you yourself created
So empty and hollow
Just trying to fill that hole
The hole you burned
With your money and lies
With your jealousy and hate
Slowly destroying your life
We are the Rebel Children
Who just don’t belong
The ones who can’t sleep at night
But can’t ever really wake up
We are everything
And nothing at all

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Posted in Poetry |

Boy Soldier

Monday, November 30th, 2009

I wrote this poem in english class today, I think I like it. Not sure where it came from though.

The razor runs over the boy’s head
He doesn’t move or flinch
Just stares ahead into oblivion
With deadlocked eyes
Into a future of unknown miseries
With eyes held firm in a choice
He had no part in making
They shave his head
Put a warm gun in his hands
And teach him how to kill
Teach him to steal a life without remorse
They say Learn fast boy
Or get ready to die young
They smack him around
Take the boy’s soft exterior
And turn it into cold hard stone
Rip out his heart and memories
Of a time when safety was a given
And love was always near
Take all that he ever knew
And throw it away
The boy soldier hefts up his gun
His lips sealed and dead eyes
He has nothing left
But the eternal fight for his soul
Everyone runs from him
Like he is a monster
Because he is a monster
One they made him into
Ripped him from his home
And gave him hate
To battle an unknown enemy
There is no escape for him
Just a bloody sentence
That he has no choice but to accept
They label him and fear all like him
And run at the sight of his gun
Run they yell
It is the boy soldier come home again
But he won’t let it continue
As he stands over the body
Of a little girl the same age as him
A bullet in her chest
Blood blooming on her white dress
Like a ruby flower blooming
A bullet he shot from his gun
The tip of the gun digs into the earth
As he falls to his knees beside her
He grips the dusty earth
As he watches the last breathes
Leave the dying angel
Look how far he has fallen
And for what, for whom
No more he swears to the dry earth
No more blood
He turns the gun around
In his rough scarred hands
Covered in dust and blood
They belong to an old man
Not a twelve-year-old boy
He put the gun to his head
And pulled the trigger
That he was taught to pull
One more time
The boy soldier fell
Next to the dead angel girl
There will be no more wars
For this tortured soul
No more rivers of blood
Just the peace he never had
But always deserved

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