Posts Tagged ‘friend’

Happy Mother’s Day

Sunday, May 12th, 2013

Dear Mom,

You are my best friend, my travel buddy, my partner in crime, and the light of my life. I love you in more ways than words can express. I am sorry I can’t be there in person to tell you everything I have to say, but I can start here; Happy Mother’s Day.

We have traveled the country together, long hours in the car that never got boring or tiresome because we always had something to talk about and even if we didn’t we both enjoyed the silence and the company of one another other. We have wandered down creek beds, climbed trees, fixed flat tires, run across so many different surfaces that I cannot even begin to think of all their names. And oh the places we have gone, the places you have showed me, enjoyed with me and the memories that I have of you, with you, that I will remember and cherish for the rest of my life.

Like the hellish hikes that we simultaneously horribly regret, yet remember with heart filling laughs even though it was horrible at the time. The adventures that failed, but led us to all new places and things.

I love the times when we can be silly, climbing trees, hijacking tractors in the deepest part of the Bryce Canyon, and shamelessly chasing down every roadside attraction we can find.
Oh the places we have been. How many backdrops have we seen that belong in fairytales? How many times have we watched sunsets in places that are straight out of story books? How many times have I wished to always be back in the places we have been, while always looking forward to our next adventures?

Caught between the wonderful life you have given me, lived in with me, and the story books found in photography shops or souvenir stores, you have always been there for me. The every faithful travel buddy, the worried mother, the excited best friend, you are everything that I love in life.

Jumping over rattlesnakes and standing waist deep in the Zion Narrows, you and I have been through everything, and I wouldn’t change anything about it.
You have been there for me in the hardest moments, followed me down the most treacherous paths, squeezed yourself down corridors that seemed impassible just to show me it could be done.  You are incredible, you are super woman, you are my mother.
I could never wish for anything more than the life you have given me, the oppurtunities I have been blessed to have with you. The coffee and beignets in New Orleans, the trolley car rides, the rivers we have stood at, the canyons we have overlooked, the wildlife we have gaped at, and the world you have shown me. There are too many memories for me to describe, too many things for me to talk about and how much I appreciate every single second of the time we have spent together.
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I love our family, I love the loving home you and Dad have given me, the loving upbringing and the support you have given me my entire life; even when I didn’t realize you were my biggest supporter and friend.
You make me laugh like no one else I know. How many different ways can I say that I love you? I hope you know that without me ever having to say it. Even when I am away for months at a time, I hope the wind will carry my words to you and carry my love to you so that you always know you are cherished and appreciated.
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I wonder where we will go next, I wonder what is in store for us in the future.
There are so many wonderful times in the past, but I know you and I have even more memories to be made in the future. Even if it isn’t on the road or out in the back country or by a river bed, we will always have the bond that is unbreakable, the bond between a mother and her daughter.
The bond between best friends who know exactly how to make you smile and dance even in the most difficult moments.
The bond between you and I will last the rest of our lives, as will the memories we have and the ones we have yet to make.

You are my inspiration, my hope, my love, my light. I love you mom more than words can say. I wish I could hug you and tell you in person, and I miss you all the time. You are such a wonderful mother and I hope you know that I thank God every day for giving me you.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom, I love you, I love you, I love you.

Your Eternally grateful and loving Daughter,





Monday, September 12th, 2011

Her feet drag as she slowly crosses the carpet sea back to the safety of her chair. The carpet seems to grip onto her feet making each progressive step harder and harder to take, but then again it seems that every step these days are now burdened with the weight of time.

The sickening dragging noise of her shuffling feet is drowned out by the hum of an old TV. The muffled voices seem far away from her and as the commercials end her ears yearn to hear the content, the sacred testaments the TV is slowly spewing now. She quickens her ladened steps and sets herself down, as her own body seems to sigh in relief. The chair welcomes her home, embracing her as it molds to her shape. The dent she has left in over years of use. This is her home. The shape of her body is engraved in its once lush frame, but now it creaks as it reaches out to embrace her. She doesn’t mind, it is still her home, her resting place, her haven and final sanctuary. Across the carpet sea sits her pride and joy, the television set. It sags now with age, pulling down at the corners just as her face now begins its tired descent into age. The antennas stick out at odd angles, just as she likes it. The occasional fuzz runs across the screen but she doesn’t mind, she takes it as a sign. The line of static that only briefly interrupts the vivid images that jump out into her lap. A reminder from her one and only friend that it is indeed still alive.

She sighs in contented happiness and settles in with fascination to her show. In the background though is a buzzing, a humming of sorts that mumbles its way into her mind interrupting her sacred time.

“For God’s sake Mom! Get out of that chair, go outside, talk to a friend, do something besides stare at that TV!” cried her daughter in anguish. “Don’t you see that you are wasting your life!”

The resounding sound of cupboards being slammed shut and the clumsy and loud movements of her daughter come from the kitchen behind her. She hears none of it, just a murmuring in the background, a static that she has come to tolerate. She ignores it, does not hear it, all else besides the soothing voices and images that constantly stream from her sacred box is faded.

“You have lost everything you loved, and those that love you have lost you.” The daughter cried in defeated bitterness. The daughter looks up from the kitchen alcove to no movement. Her words, her cry for change, have yet again gone unheard. Her voice never stronger than the TV’s. She looks down at her hands that have been stained and torn from work, none of which her mother ever knew about, or seemingly cared.

“Ok mom, I understand. I am leaving, and this time I am not coming back.” She sighs and leaves the kitchen as her high heels click on the kitchen-tiled floor. A harsh noise that is sharp and echoes across the empty, neglected house. But even this noise, persistent and hard never reaches the woman sitting in her throne atop the carpet sea.

“Goodbye mom, I hope you are happy with your real family, I won’t bother you anymore.”

The door is slammed, leaving the house with an absence. The mother senses this absence for a brief moment but chooses not to acknowledge it. She lets out another sigh as the murmuring in the background finally ceases and she can turn her full attention to the television.

The entire world around her seems to melt away in that moment. There is no longer the dark dingy room she calls home. No piles of dishes left to rot in the sink, no emptiness, no sadness, and no void that was left in her heart when her poor husband died. All of that is washed away in an instant, as the outside world seems to come within her own small world and nestle there at her feet making itself at home. Here her world is always perfect. In an instant she can be halfway around the world on a beach with the Mediterranean Sea warming her tired skin. Or she could be lost in the jungles of the Amazon living off the fruit of the land and experiencing the beauty of the savage untamed world. Her living room no longer houses the pain of the void left by the loss of her beloved, instead it is filled with the dreams they had but never were able to experience. She closes her eyes letting the world envelope her and gives herself over to a world so different than her reality. For that small moment, they are together again, living their dreams as they sail across the Indian Ocean and hang-glide over the cliffs of Dover. In that span of time, she finally lives. If only for that small amount of time.

An audible click resonates through her skull like a gunshot. The woman blinks repeatedly in shock and leans forward slowly. Releasing herself from the loving embrace of her loyal chair she grips at its arms with long unclean fingernails. With eyes wide, revealing their glassy blue hue that once shone like the sky, she stares at the television with a sinking heart. She stares into the face of static as it looks back at her mockingly. The sound is deafening. It strangled out the song of beautiful birds in South America and dolphins swimming in the sea and replaced it with the hiss of all things evil. The static crackles in her ears as her heart pounds. Frantically she grapples for the remote hoping it is just a mistake. The channels change but the image does not. She is left time and time again with the mocking static of her once loyal friend.

Her mouth is dry, her heart pounds, and her mind races in circles. “This can’t be happening,” she whispers in a hoarse unused voice. She detaches herself from her chair ready to brave the carpet sea. With determined and hopeful steps she drags her feet through the tangles of carpet and reaches her traitor friend. She grips the antennas desperately trying to rearrange them in an order that will bring back the images that soothe her broken heart like morphine. Nothing. The static continues as it hisses in her ear a lullaby of her worst nightmares.

Tortured and heartbroken she is swept across the carpet sea and cast down into the arms of her creaking old chair. There she lies watching with tear filled eyes, the second worst nightmare of her life. Left alone in a room, in a house, with nothing inside of it but her, her chair, and the horribly hissing of the TV. Just like that her world was taken away, and she was left more alone than ever. Not even her daughter would come for her now.

A simple order was put out to an employee, turn off a woman’s cable due to lack of funds. Her world, her dreams and her last hope, without a thought or the slightest of hesitation were snatched away. Her world was gone and all she was left with was the regret of a life she never lived, the pain of everything she had but lost, and of course, static.

This story was inspired by an interaction with a woman at a garage sale who told me a story about how her cable was shut off because she could no longer pay her bills. She said she was devastated because  “It was like they took my world away”.