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<\/a><\/p>\nHe and I go everywhere together. \u00a0One time, we went to a bonfire on the beach of the ocean. \u00a0The party was actually not that fun. \u00a0All they had to eat there was chicken, and who the heck likes chicken??????? Because my friend Sarcasm is so outspoken and hard to control, he made some hurtful but witty comments about the party and the person who threw it. \u00a0Needless to say, we were shunned.<\/p>\n
We found a cat on the road it had been hit by a car very sad but what can I say Sarcasm would not let me stop. He ran over it again, then backed up over it, then said some more witty comments, then drove away. \u00a0I think he was drunk.<\/p>\n
We then ate at Chef Wiu (which serves Italian food, contrary to popular belief), where they actually serve dead cat but they call it chicken. \u00a0I don’t see the reason to lie about this fact because I happen to like dead cat. \u00a0I eat it all the time and sometimes I even go out in the mornings and hunt and then make a cereal out of my kills. \u00a0It’s better to get your food nice and fresh because otherwise who knows where that stuff has been. \u00a0Like this one time, my friend Sarcasm had a chocolate bar. \u00a0He gave it to me, but not before he did some gross stuff with it (use your imagination…). \u00a0And I ate it.<\/p>\n
Because chocolate bars are supposed to be brown, right? <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n Well, lesson #1 of the night: Do not eat stuff that is brown, because then it is impossible to tell just where it has been. \u00a0Trust me, I definitely knew where the chocolate bar had been right after it put it in my mouth. \u00a0I actually liked it. \u00a0It changed my entire perspective of food, and now I like to try new and exotic things.<\/p>\n Did you know that there is a species of cat called the exotic????????? Yeah. \u00a0I didn’t either. Until today.<\/p>\n