Posts Tagged ‘novel’

Life Update

Friday, February 16th, 2018

I have some exciting news to share with all of you:

I am writing a book.

The first reason I want to tell you this is accountability. Telling you about my idea for a book, which has only existed within the confines of my mind for some years now, is the first step towards holding myself accountable for following through with the completion of my project. If you know about it’s existence, then I am not just letting myself down if I fail to write this book, I am also failing all of you. If I keep it a secret and fail to succeed in bringing my book to life then I am the only one who knows about the horrible creative miscarriage taking place in my mind. As such, then I am the only one to mourn the loss of something that never quite was but will always be with me. So it scares me to share this small and fragile beginning with you. Vulnerability has never been my strength, but this blog has always been for me a space where I can share the things that scare me most. And let me tell you, there is nothing scarier to me than the thought of not being able to bring life to the ideas in my mind. While the pressure created by sharing this information with you is terrifying, I truly believe it is necessary to motivate me. Failure will not be an option.

Additionally, I feel compelled to share this information because I fully believe in the power that words possess. Speaking something aloud or writing down something gives it life, agency, and autonomy to exist. To name a thing is to give it life. Saying that I am writing this book already gives my book more life than it ever had before I wrote these words. So I am going to will my book into being by letting the world know that it will happen.

Finally, I wanted to update you on this current project to inform you as to the reason I have not been posting on my blog. My mind is so full of words, half formed poetry, and stories begging to be born, but I am going to pour all of my creative energy into writing this book for the time being. I will keep posting, but I am hoping to limit the time I spend working on my blog for now in order to help focus my attention on this bigger project.

As for the book itself, I don’t want to be premature with sharing any information or excerpts quite yet, but I will give you the basics to tide you over for a little while. I am writing a psychological thriller that focuses on issues of isolation, survival, and mental illness. I am modeling the setting after the central California coastal farm land that I grew up around and love so dearly. I hope to present to you a novel that walks a thin line between natural and supernatural where the reader and the protagonist must question what is or is not in fact real. I present you with the question that has haunted me since I first began the creation of this novel: if you cannot trust what your own senses are telling you, who or what should you trust to discern reality from illusion?

Wish me luck as I begin this long process and I hope to have more to share with you all soon!

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NaNoWriMo

Monday, November 30th, 2009


nano_ywp_winner_120x240_1 nano_ywp_winner_120x240_2

This year I found out about NaNoWriMo which is National Novel Writing Month, where writers try to hit a word goal for a novel they are trying to write in  month. Sadly I found this program halfway into the month so I wasn’t able to really truly do as well as I wanted but I still hit my word goal so technically I won but I definitely do not have a novel. So here it is, my award….. I guess.

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Harlequin’s Dance: A Story WIP

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

“I love you today, I love you tomorrow and forever my little Pandora.” She whispered shutting the door behind her with a soft but audible click as it sealed off all the light except for my little dancing light next to my bed on a bedpost. My eyes where slowly closing as I watched the little princess emit different colors casting shadows on my walls. I sighed sleepily shutting out the world as I slipped into sweet dreams of my four year old life. A click woke me up. I curled up not wishing to be disturbed but my eyes watched as the door opened slowly. I looked away and tried to go back to sleep. Footsteps approaching across my carpet floors towards my bed.

“Ma?” I say drowsily and try to sit up as I look at the woman across from my bed. “Da?” I say curiously.

“Hello honey, my you are a perfect little creature aren’t you?” an unfamiliar voice said softly and lovingly.

I turn around to look at the open door, “Ma?” I say questioningly. The woman approaches my bed and I shrink away in fright. She stretches out her arms for me and I scream as her cold fingers brush my pudgy arms. “MA! MA!” I scream pulling away from the stranger who tries to shush me. Her cold fingers turn into talons and grab my arms roughly. Her nails dig into my soft flesh as I whimper and start to cry. I can’t scream any more as she ensnares me pulling me to her.

“You’re safe now my darling,” she scoops me up in her freezing arms, they are wet from the outside snow. I whimper softly unable to scream. “ You’re mine now.” She whispers clutching my little body to her.

“Pandora?” a confused voice from the hall calls, a light flicks on in the hallway. I whimper again trying to yell. The woman looks up towards the hall and walks briskly towards the open door, me still in her arms bundled up in my blankie. She picks something out of her back pocket and shows it to me. It is shiny and black. I shrink away from it. She moves into the hallway, I see my mom and dad there. Their faces turn into horrified masks as they see me with the woman. She points the black object at them and they freeze. She starts to back towards the stairs still holding it towards them, they don’t move.

“Please don’t take my baby,” My mom pleads “ we will give you anything you want, just don’t harm her.” She begs holding her arms toward us as if to take me back.

The woman laughs and says, “She is all I want.” She points the thing at my mom. My dad lunges for us but the woman back pedals and points the thing at me. I turn to look at it, it has a little whole in the end; I look at it and hear a click come from it. My mom is sobbing now and my dad stares in horror. I reach for the gun with both hands and place them on the little hole. My dad grabs something while she isn’t looking ad tries to hit her with it but the click comes again and I try to push it away. Then it got really hot, there was a loud bang. Everything else was blurry and numb as the woman ran down the stairs with me in hand and out the door into the snow.

“Pandora!” I hear my mother scream after me as I am carried away into a world of darkness. So cold, and so numb inside and out.

Darkness is the only thing I remember, soon it was all I remembered at all. Mom was a thing of the past, so was warmth and love. It wasn’t part of my new life; it wasn’t part of me at all just a shadow of a very different time. Darkness became my whole life, not necessarily in a bad way. It was just the spectrum I viewed things through now instead of light like everyone else. I am special. I am special, that was what they always told me. I never understood, I still don’t; I’m not special we are all capable of what I do we just have to open our eyes.

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