This post has been a long time coming, my shout out of the day today is Philomena! She is one of the coolest people in the world, she even has her own talk show at school called Phridays with Phil. Yes, she is that cool. She sticks with me even in my strangest of times, and loves Rocky Horror as much as me, which is quite a feat, believe me. She has sat with me in spanish for about the past three years and has gotten me through the full IB years and many golf sessions. Yes, Philomena child, you are a wonderful person and I love you!! See you in spanish
Posts Tagged ‘golf’
Shout out of the day goes to Natalie. Thanks for sticking with me in golf even though I am a crazy pain in the butt. Sorry for cursing and driving you insane with my antics, but you know in the end you are just as crazy as me. Admit it. I am glad I met you Natalie, and WE WON A MATCH!! Betty’s soon okay?
In golf they want you to wear tan shorts or khakis. Wait, what exactly are khakis? That is beside the point, tan. The color tan is my point. Tan and cream-colored things drive me insane. If you are one of my friends you probably know this. If not, please endure. These colors bug me for several reasons:
- Cream is not a color. Plain as that, the same way white isn’t. Cream bothers me though because it isn’t white, but it is close enough to trick you. Cream is just an ugly white. I mean why make something cream when it could be white? WHY? It confounds me and makes me angry to an extent. It is just a dirty white color. It makes me want to wash it, but I know it won’t come off. Ugh, makes me sick.
- My main issue of the day is tan. Yeah I have a beef to pick with the color tan. I will never wear tan clothes. Simple as that, I will wear grey, you can even force me to wear white, but I will not wear tan. Want to know why? Simple, when people wear tan they look like they are naked. Don’t even begin to tell me you haven’t been driving along and seen someone from a far and thought, Oh my god, is that person naked? Thus upon closer inspection you find they are just wearing tan pants. Yeah, happens a lot. It is disturbing and highly disruptive in my life. I can be driving and see an old lady walking around as if she is naked just because she decided by, some catastrophe of fate, to wear all tan-colored clothes.
Sorry golf team, I will never wear tan, I like people to be aware that I am fully clothed. It is just how I roll. If you disagree tell me so, but don’t tell me you never thought that, because that would be a lie. Why do these colors even exist?
I asked someone this and they gave me an excuse I just have to mention. Here it is, the main reason the color tan was invented:
To blend in with the ground…
Why are you tying to blend in with the ground?! Answer me that first, because truly I want to know. No that is not a valid reason. I will slap you if you say that to me. Tan is not camouflage, no matter the excuse, maybe if you are trying to blend in with your own skin. I just hate those colors, simple as that. They are a blight on society.
So here is another incident after the Ghosts and Stupidity, there will probably be many more like this.
Today during golf practice I was wheeling around my golf bag on one of the old man bag cart pushers. On hole five I was pushing it in front of me when the bottom caught the ground, stopped dead and hit me right in the neck.
Funny? Yes. Painful? Yes. A really stupid moment? Definetely.
Not only did I jab myslef in the throat with the handle, but I made the most ghastly noise when it happened. It was a mixture of a dying cat and what I can only assume to be the llama mating ritual noise.
YES IT WAS THAT BAD.
Worst part, almost everyone heard the noise. Everyone just turned around and was like What the heck was that? I just laughed and laughed. No I am not an idiot, I am just unmindful of my surroundings, namely old man golf bag carriers.